DISCOVER THE BEST BRAINY QUOTES OF
SALVADOR DALI...

A REAL FRENZY HAS TAKEN OVER THE ROOM. ALL I HAD TO DO WAS TELL THEM A FEW ANECDOTES. I CHOSE THE ONE OF GENGHIS KHAN. I WAS TOLD THAT GENGHIS KHAN HAD ONCE HEARD THE NIGHTINGALE SING IN A HEAVENLY PLACE WHERE HE WANTED TO BE BURIED, AND THE NEXT DAY HE SAW IN HIS DREAMS A RED

SALVADOR DALI

BELOW LAY THE MUTILATED CITY, FAT SCATTERED SMOKE, LIKE SHREDS OF BLACK BUTTER BRAINS, ESCAPING FROM THE EXPLODED SKULL OF TALL BUILDINGS, HOUSES WITH EYES HOLLOWED OUT BY THE INVISIBLE SPOONS OF BOMBS.

SALVADOR DALI

CLEDALISM IS THE PLEASURE PROVIDED BY THE SUFFERING TO WHICH YOU ARE SUBJECTED BY THE OBJECT. » ———————————– CONTEMPORARY HISTORY OFFERS AN EXCEPTIONAL FRAMEWORK FOR A NOVEL ABOUT THE EVOLUTION AND CONFLICTS OF GREAT HUMAN PASSIONS, AND THAT THE HISTORY OF WAR, AND MORE SPECIFICALLY THAT OF THE POIGNANT POST

SALVADOR DALI

WHAT ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE WORLD? THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO, INSTEAD OF STANDING ON BOTH LEGS, BALANCE ON ONE LIKE FLAMINGOS. THIS ARISTOCRATIC AND DELIBERATE ATTITUDE SHOWS THEIR WILLINGNESS TO CONTINUE TO STAND UP TO SEE EVERYTHING FROM ABOVE, AND, AT THE SAME TIME, TO TOUCH EARTHLY CONTINGENCIES ONLY AS MUCH AS IS STRICTLY NECESSARY. THIS SELF

SALVADOR DALI

IN FACT, ONE OF THE MOST DEEPLY ROOTED NOTIONS IN THE HUMAN MIND, THE MEANING OF RIGHT AND LEFT, HAS COMPLETELY LOST ITS WAY AND BLURRED AMONG OUR CONTEMPORARIES.

SALVADOR DALI

…

SALVADOR DALI

DO WE KNOW TODAY HOW TO DISTINGUISH OUR RIGHT HAND FROM OUR LEFT HAND? NO, MY DEAR VISCOUNT, WE ARE STRICTLY INCAPABLE OF IT! WHEN I WAS YOUNG, IT WAS STILL POSSIBLE, IN THE PRESENCE OF A MAJOR EVENT, TO FORM AN OPINION ON IT, DEPENDING ON THE IDEOLOGY OF THE POLITICAL PARTY TO WHICH ONE BELONGED. BUT THAT IS NO LONGER POSSIBLE TODAY: YOU READ IN THE NEWSPAPER SOMETHING SENSATIONAL, VITAL, DECISIVE NEWS… WELL, YOU HAVE NO WAY OF KNOWING WHETHER IT IS A GOOD THING OR A BAD THING UNTIL THE SPECIALISTS OF YOUR POLITICAL PARTY HAVE EXAMINED IT AND DECIDED FOR YOU. OTHERWISE, YOU RUN THE RISK OF BEING RIDICULED BY REACHING CONCLUSIONS THE NEXT DAY THAT ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS THOSE OF YOUR WORST POLITICAL OPPONENTS!

SALVADOR DALI

DON’T BE AFRAID OF PERFECTION, YOU WILL NEVER ACHIEVE IT.

SALVADOR DALI

SNOBBERY IS ABOUT ALWAYS BEING ABLE TO PLACE YOURSELF IN PLACES WHERE OTHERS DO NOT HAVE ACCESS. ———————————– IN THREE DAYS, I FINISHED ASSIMILATING AND DIGESTING NIETZSCHE. ONCE THIS WILDCAT MEAL WAS OVER, I ONLY HAD ONE DETAIL LEFT OF THE PHILOSOPHER’S PERSONALITY, ONLY ONE BONE TO GNAW AT: HIS MOUSTACHES! LATER, FEDERICO GARCIA LORCA, FASCINATED BY HITLER’S WHISKERS, PROCLAIMED THAT WHISKERS ARE THE TRAGIC CONSTANT IN MAN’S FACE”. EVEN BY THE MUSTACHES, I WAS GOING TO SURPASS NIETZSCHE! MINE WOULD NOT BE DEPRESSING, CATASTROPHIC, OVERWHELMED BY WAGNERIAN MUSIC AND MISTS. NO! THEY WOULD BE TAPERED, IMPERIALIST, ULTRA

SALVADOR DALI

DON’T BE AFRAID OF PERFECTION. YOU’LL NEVER SUCCEED!

SALVADOR DALI

SALVADOR DALÍ’S SECRET LIFE OF SALVADOR DALÍ

SALVADOR DALI

WITH A CANCER, PROUST MANAGES TO MAKE MUSIC, WHILE DALI, ON THE OTHER HAND, WITH MUSIC, MANAGES TO MAKE A CANCER.

SALVADOR DALI

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MADMAN AND ME IS THAT I AM,

SALVADOR DALI

CHEERFULNESS OF THE SIDEREAL SHINE, CHEERFULNESS OF COSMIC CLEANLINESS, COMPULSIVE MANIACAL CHEERFULNESS TO WASH THE INLAVABLE, HYPER-AESTHETIC RABID CHEERFULNESS TO REDUCE ALL THE APARTMENTS OF THE WORLD, ALL THE PANS OF THE WORLD INTO A BALL OF AN ADVANCED MECHANISM. AND SHE COULD HAVE HELD IN HER GIANT HANDS THIS MICROCOSM OF THE WASHABLE AND PERFORMED THE FEAT OF POLISHING EVERY CORNER OF THE ALREADY SANITIZED AND STERILIZED INTERSECTIONS. AND TO POLISH, POLISH, POLISH, FRENETICALLY POLISH, POLISH AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND MORE THE UNASSAILABLE. THIS TIME, THE STUPID READER WILL HAVE UNDERSTOOD ME! CLEAN THE ESPUTNIC.

SALVADOR DALI

OF ITS OWN REFLECTION.

SALVADOR DALI

AFTER LUNCH, MR. PITCHOT CLOSED THE SHUTTERS HIMSELF, GIVING THE ORDER TO DO THE SAME THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE. A STORM WAS COMING, HE CLAIMED. I LOOKED AT THE SKY AS BLUE AND SMOOTH AS A SHEET OF CALM WATER. BUT MR. PITCHOT, DRIVING ME TO THE BALCONY, SIGNALLED ME ON THE HORIZON OF SMALL CUMULUS CLOUDS RISING INTO THE SKY.

SALVADOR DALI

WHEN THAT HEAD SPLITS

SALVADOR DALI

I CLUNG TO THE BALCONY RAILING, AMAZED BY THE CLOUDS THAT SUDDENLY REMINDED ME OF THE DAMP SPOTS ON THE CEILING OF MR. TRAYTER’S CLASSROOM. IT SEEMED TO ME THAT I WOULD SEE IN THEM ALL THE DISORDERED FANTASIES OF MY CHILDHOOD, BURIED IN MY OBLIVION AND MIRACULOUSLY RESURRECTED IN THE GLORY OF THE FLESH AND THE FOAM OF THE FULGURANT CUMULUS OF LIGHT. WINGED HORSES SWELLED THEIR BREASTS FROM WHICH ALL THE BREASTS, MELONS AND DIABOLOS OF MY DESIRE FLOURISHED. ONE OF THE CLOUDS, IN THE SHAPE OF MAN

SALVADOR DALI

WHEN THAT HEAD CRACKS,

SALVADOR DALI

CRITICISM IS A SUBLIME THING. SHE’S ONLY WORTHY OF GENIUSES.

SALVADOR DALI

WHEN THAT HEAD EXPLODES,

SALVADOR DALI

WHAT IS YOUR SECRET TO SUCCESS?

SALVADOR DALI

IT WILL BE THE FLOWER,

SALVADOR DALI

STRONG REFRACTORY INDIVIDUALITIES REMIND US THAT WE ARE NEGATIVE TO THE EXTENT THAT WE WANT TO BE AND THAT THE EXCEPTION ALONE CHANGES THE COURSE OF EVENTS. GOD WANTS GODS IN MEN. BY NOT RENOUNCING OURSELVES, WE REJECT THE FATUM; WE CHANGE OURSELVES INTO DESTINY.

SALVADOR DALI

NARCISSUS, IN ITS IMMOBILITY, ABSORBED BY ITS REFLECTION WITH THE DIGESTIVE SLOWNESS OF CARNIVOROUS PLANTS, BECOMES INVISIBLE.

SALVADOR DALI

THE NEW NARCISSUS,

SALVADOR DALI

MY BEST MEMORIES ARE THOSE OF THE FUTURE.

SALVADOR DALI

THERE’S ONLY ONE OF HIM LEFT.

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GALA

SALVADOR DALI

MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN DETERMINED BY TWO CONFLICTING IDEAS: THE SUMMIT AND THE BOTTOM.

SALVADOR DALI

THAN THE HALLUCINATING OVAL OF WHITENESS IN HIS HEAD,

SALVADOR DALI

I AM IN A STATE OF PERMANENT INTELLECTUAL ERECTION, AND EVERYTHING COMES BEFORE MY DESIRES.

SALVADOR DALI

SOFT WATCHES ARE NOTHING MORE THAN CAMEMBERT

SALVADOR DALI

HIS HEAD SOFTER AGAIN,

SALVADOR DALI

GALA, LIKE A MOTHER WITH HER CHILD WHO HAS NO APPETITE, INSISTED:

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PAINTING, LIKE LOVE, COMES IN THROUGH THE EYES,

SALVADOR DALI

ITS HEAD, A CHRYSALIS OF BIOLOGICAL ULTERIOR MOTIVES,

SALVADOR DALI

WITH A DISGUSTED AND NOSTALGIC LOOK, I TRIED:

SALVADOR DALI

IF YOU PLAY GENIUS, YOU BECOME GENIUS!

SALVADOR DALI

HIS HEAD SUPPORTED AT THE FINGERTIPS OF THE WATER,

SALVADOR DALI

WHEN I OPENED NIETZSCHE FOR THE FIRST TIME, I WAS DEEPLY SHOCKED. IN BLACK AND WHITE, HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY: “GOD IS DEAD! “HOW! I HAD JUST LEARNED THAT THERE WAS NO GOD AND NOW SOMEONE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS DEATH! MY FIRST SUSPICIONS WERE BORN.

SALVADOR DALI

WHEN I WAS SIX YEARS OLD, I WANTED TO BECOME A COOK.

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AT YOUR FINGERTIPS,

SALVADOR DALI

THOSE WHO DON’T WANT TO IMITATE ANYONE NEVER CREATE ANYTHING.

SALVADOR DALI

WHEN I WAS SEVEN, I WANTED TO BE NAPOLEON

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OF THE SENSELESS HAND,

SALVADOR DALI

MY MOTHER’S DEATH THIS PAST YEAR WAS THE GREATEST OF ALL MY DESPAIR. I IDOLIZED HIM. HIS IMAGE WAS UNIQUE TO ME. I KNEW THE MORAL VALUES OF HIS HOLY SOUL SO ABOVE ALL THAT THERE IS HUMAN THAT I COULD NOT RESIGN MYSELF TO THE LOSS OF A BEING ON WHOM I WAS RELYING TO MAKE INVISIBLE THE HIDDEN DEFECTS OF MY SOUL.

SALVADOR DALI

BUT THE AGE OF REASON TAUGHT ME THAT THERE WAS NO GREATER AMBITION

SALVADOR DALI

OF THE TERRIBLE HAND,

SALVADOR DALI

IF I AM TOLD THAT MATISSE’S COLOURS ARE COMPLEMENTARY, I WOULD ANSWER THAT INDEED THEY DO NOT STOP DOING OTHER THINGS THAN COMPLIMENTS. AND THEN I WOULD REPEAT AGAIN THAT IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO BE A LITTLE CAREFUL WITH ABSTRACT PAINTING. AS IT BECOMES MORE AND MORE ABSTRACT, ITS MONETARY VALUE WILL SOON BECOME ABSTRACT. THERE IS A GRADATION IN THE MISFORTUNE OF NON

SALVADOR DALI

THERE IS ALWAYS A TIME IN THEIR LIVES WHEN PEOPLE REALIZE THAT THEY LOVE ME.

SALVADOR DALI

OF THE COPROPHAGIC HAND,

SALVADOR DALI

ANDES CHANCES THAT A PAINTER CAN HAVE, IT IS FIRST OF ALL TO BE SPANISH, AND SECONDLY TO BE CALLED DALI.

SALVADOR DALI

PAINTER ONLY DRINKS ALCOHOL AND CHEWS HASHISH FIVE TIMES IN YOUR LIFE.

SALVADOR DALI

OF THE DEADLY HAND

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BRAQUE

SALVADOR DALI

I HAD COME TO THE SORBONNE IN A ROLLS FULL OF VEGETABLES, BUT THE SEASON DOESN’T LEND ITSELF TO GIANT CAULIFLOWERS. WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL NEXT MARCH. THE BIGGEST ONE I’LL FIND, I’LL LIGHT IT UP AND PHOTOGRAPH IT FROM A CERTAIN ANGLE. SO _AND I GAVE MY WORD OF HONOUR AS A SPANIARD_ THE PHOTO ONCE DEVELOPED, EVERYONE WILL SEE A LACEMAKER WITH VERMEER’S OWN TECHNIQUE.

SALVADOR DALI

CONGRESSES ARE STRANGE MONSTERS SURROUNDED BY THE ESSENCE OF BEHIND

SALVADOR DALI

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

SALVADOR DALI

BUT YOU, NARCISSUS,

SALVADOR DALI

I AM ALSO THINKING ABOUT THE PICTURESQUE NICKNAMES OF THE FISHERMEN OF PORT LLIGAT: THE MARQUIS, THE MINISTER, THE AFRICAN, THERE ARE EVEN THREE JESUS CHRIST. I AM CONVINCED THAT THERE ARE FEW PLACES IN THE WORLD

SALVADOR DALI

SYMMETRY, THE DIVINE HYPNOSIS OF THE GEOMETRY OF THE SPIRIT, ALREADY FILLS YOUR HEAD WITH THIS UNHEALABLE, VEGETABLE, ATAVISTIC AND SLOW SLEEP

SALVADOR DALI

FORMED BY TIMID, FRAGRANT OUTBREAKS OF TRANSPARENT ADOLESCENCE,

SALVADOR DALI

DON’T BE AFRAID OF PERFECTION, YOU’LL NEVER SUCCEED!

SALVADOR DALI

THAT DRIES OUT THE BRAIN

SALVADOR DALI

YOU SLEEP LIKE A FLOWER.

SALVADOR DALI

WHEN I OPENED NIETZSCHE FOR THE FIRST TIME, I WAS DEEPLY SHOCKED. IN BLACK AND WHITE, HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO SAY: “GOD IS DEAD!” HOW! I HAD JUST LEARNED THAT THERE WAS NO GOD AND NOW SOMEONE WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS DEATH! MY FIRST SUSPICIONS WERE BORN.

SALVADOR DALI

IN THE PARCHMENT SUBSTANCE

SALVADOR DALI

NOW THE GREAT MYSTERY IS APPROACHING,

SALVADOR DALI

WHO KNOWS HOW TO TASTE NEVER DRINKS WINE AGAIN BUT TASTES SECRETS

SALVADOR DALI

OF THE NUCLEUS OF YOUR CLOSE METAMORPHOSIS.

SALVADOR DALI

THAT THE GREAT METAMORPHOSIS IS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE.

SALVADOR DALI

THE SEED ON YOUR HEAD JUST FELL INTO THE WATER.

SALVADOR DALI

IT WAS REALLY BY PLAYING AT BEING A GENIUS THAT I BECAME ONE.

SALVADOR DALI

MAN RETURNS TO THE VEGETABLE

SALVADOR DALI

DEEPLY ABSORBED IN MY EROTIC REVERIES, I ONLY LISTEN VERY VAGUELY TO THE CONVERSATION OF THREE BARCELONIANS WHO, AS OF COURSE, ARE STILL TRYING TO LISTEN TO THE MUSIC OF THE SPHERES. THEY REPEAT THE STORY OF THE SHOOTING STAR THAT HAS BEEN EXTINGUISHED FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS AND YET WE STILL SEE THE LIGHT THAT CONTINUES TO TRAVEL, ETC.

SALVADOR DALI

AND THE GODS

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COCCYX WOMAN: WHAT A HORROR!

SALVADOR DALI

AS I CANNOT SHARE ANY OF THEIR AMAZING “FEINTS”, I TELL THEM THAT NOTHING THAT HAPPENS IN THE UNIVERSE SURPRISES ME AND THAT IS THE PURE TRUTH. THEN ONE OF THE BARCELONIANS, A WELL

SALVADOR DALI

BY THE HEAVY SLEEP OF FATIGUE

SALVADOR DALI

ME DALI: I LOVE FLIES. I’M ONLY HAPPY IN THE SUN, NAKED AND COVERED WITH FLIES.

SALVADOR DALI

THE WATCHMAKER FROM BARCELONA CRIED OUT:

SALVADOR DALI

BY THE TRANSPARENT HYPNOSIS OF THEIR PASSIONS.

SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN (ALREADY CONVINCED BY THE RIGOROUS TONE OF AUTHENTICITY OF EVERYTHING I TOLD HER): BUT HOW CAN YOU LIKE BEING COVERED WITH FLIES? IT’S SO DIRTY!

SALVADOR DALI

SO SALVADOR DALI DROPPED ONE OF THOSE LAPIDARY ANSWERS HE HAS THE SECRET OF:

SALVADOR DALI

NARCISSUS, YOU ARE SO MOTIONLESS

SALVADOR DALI

ME DALI: I HATE DIRTY FLIES. I ONLY LIKE CLEAN FLIES.

SALVADOR DALI

ABOUT A VERY LONG, REALLY VERY LONG FART AND, LET’S SAY THE TRUTH, MELODIOUS, THAT I LET GO WHEN I WAKE UP, I REMEMBERED MICHEL DE MONTAIGNE. THIS AUTHOR REPORTS THAT SAINT AUGUSTINE WAS A FAMOUS PETOMANIAC WHO MANAGED TO PLAY ENTIRE SCORES.

SALVADOR DALI

THAT YOU LOOK LIKE YOU’RE ASLEEP.

SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN: I WONDER HOW YOU CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CLEAN AND DIRTY FLIES.

SALVADOR DALI

IF THESE GENTLEMEN HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO, THEY ARE RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO BRIGHTEN UP THE BOREDOM OF AN OFFICE, AND IT IS BETTER TO FART TO KILL TIME, THAN TO MEDIATE, TO MAKE LIBELS OR BAD WORMS.

SALVADOR DALI

IF IT WERE ROUGH AND BROWN HERCULES,

SALVADOR DALI

ME DALI: I CAN SEE THAT RIGHT NOW. I CAN’T STAND THE DIRTY CITY OR EVEN VILLAGE FLY, WITH A YELLOW MAYONNAISE BELLY AND SWOLLEN, WITH BLACK WINGS AS IF THEY HAD BEEN SOAKED IN A GLOOMY NECROPHILIC RHYME. I ONLY LIKE THE FLIES THAT ARE EXTREMELY CLEAN, SUPERGAIES, DRESSED IN SMALL COSTUMES OF GREY ALPACA BY BALENCIAGA, SPARKLING LIKE A DRY RAINBOW, PRECISE LIKE MICA, WITH GARNET EYES AND A BELLY OF YELLOW NOBLE FROM NAPLES, LIKE THE WONDERFUL LITTLE OLIVE FLIES FROM PORT LLIGAT WHERE NO ONE LIVES BUT GALA AND DALI. THESE SMALL FLIES HAVE THE GRACE TO ALWAYS LAND ON THE OXIDIZED SILVER SIDE OF THE OLIVE LEAF. THEY ARE THE FAIRIES OF THE MEDITERRANEAN. THEY INSPIRED GREEK PHILOSOPHERS WHO SPENT THEIR LIVES IN THE SUN, COVERED WITH FLIES… YOUR DREAMY LOOK ALREADY LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE ACQUIRED WITH FLIES…. TO CONCLUDE ON THIS CHAPTER, I WILL TELL YOU THAT, THE DAY I AM THINKING, I WILL BE DISTURBED BY THE FLIES THAT COVER ME, I WILL KNOW THAT THIS MEANS THAT MY IDEAS DO NOT HAVE THE POWER OF THIS PARANOID FLOW THAT IS THE SIGN OF MY GENIUS. ON THE OTHER HAND, IF I DON’T NOTICE FLIES, IT’S THE BEST SIGN THAT I COMPLETELY DOMINATE THE SPIRITUAL SITUATION.

SALVADOR DALI

THE POET MUST, BEFORE ANYONE ELSE, PROVE WHAT HE SAYS.

SALVADOR DALI

IT LOOKS LIKE IT SLEEPS LIKE A TRUNK.

SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN: DEEP DOWN, EVERYTHING YOU SAY SEEMS TO MAKE SENSE! SO IS IT TRUE THAT YOUR WHISKERS ARE ANTENNAS THROUGH WHICH YOU RECEIVE YOUR IDEAS?

SALVADOR DALI

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MADMAN AND ME IS THAT I’M NOT MAD! » ———————————– WHEN NARCISSUS’ CLEAR AND DIVINE ANATOMY LOOKS AT THE DARK MIRROR OF THE LAKE, ———————————– WHEN HIS WHITE CHEST BENT FORWARD FREEZES, FROZEN, IN THE SILVERY AND HYPNOTIC CURVE OF HIS DESIRE, WHEN TIME PASSES ON THE CLOCK OF THE SAND FLOWERS OF HIS OWN FLESH, ———————————– NARCISSUS ANNIHILATES HIMSELF IN THE COSMIC VERTIGO IN THE DEPTHS OF WHICH SINGS THE COLD, DIONYSIAN SIREN OF HIS OWN IMAGE. NARCISSUS’ BODY IS EMPTIED AND LOST IN THE ABYSS OF HIS REFLECTION, LIKE THE HOURGLASS THAT WE WILL NOT TURN AROUND. ———————————– NARCISSUS, YOU LOSE YOUR BODY, CARRIED AWAY AND CONFUSED BY THE MILLENNIAL REFLECTION OF YOUR DISAPPEARANCE, YOUR BODY STRUCK BY DEATH DESCENDS TOWARDS THE PRECIPICE OF TOPAZES WITH YELLOW WRECKS OF LOVE, YOUR WHITE BODY, SWALLOWED UP, FOLLOWS THE SLOPE OF THE FEROCIOUSLY MINERAL STREAM OF BLACK GEMS WITH PUNGENT SCENTS, YOUR BODY… UP TO THE MATT MOUTHPIECES OF THE NIGHT ON THE EDGE OF WHICH ALREADY SPARKS ALL THE RED SILVERWARE OF THE BROKEN-VEINED VANES IN THE BLOOD PIERS”.

SALVADOR DALI

IN THE POSTURE

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TO THIS QUESTION THE DIVINE DALI FLIES AWAY AND SURPASSES. HE EMBROIDERS ON ALL HIS FAVOURITE THEMES, EMBROIDERS VERMEER LACE SO FINE, SO HYPOCRITICAL, BEWITCHING AND GASTRONOMIC THAT THE FEMALE COCCYX SHOULD ONLY REMAIN THE CUBAN COCCYX. THAT IS, AS YOU ALREADY THINK, THE PURE COCUFICATOR CONCUBINE, WHO, THROUGH MY CYBERNETIC PROCESS, DECEIVES HER MALE, THE CONCUBINE’S CONCUBINE.

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NARCISSUS,

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OF A HERCULEAN OAK TREE.

SALVADOR DALI

AND THEN I WILL REPEAT AGAIN THAT IT MIGHT BE GOOD TO BE A LITTLE CAREFUL WITH ABSTRACT PAINTING. BY DINT OF BECOMING ABSTRACT, ITS MONETARY VALUE WILL ALSO BECOME ABSTRACT VERY SOON. THERE IS A GRADATION IN THE MISFORTUNE OF NON

SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN: DON’T BE FLATTERING! YOU DIDN’T EVEN SEE ME.

SALVADOR DALI

SOMETIMES SOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENS: ALL THE CRITICS ARE UNANIMOUS IN SAYING THAT SOMETHING IS VERY GOOD OR THAT SOMETHING IS VERY BAD. THEN WE CAN BE SURE THAT ALL THIS IS NOT TRUE! YOU HAVE TO BE THE LAST OF THE DRIEST MORONS TO SAY THAT IF YOUR HAIR TURNS WHITE, IT’S NORMAL FOR GLUED PAPERS TO TURN YELLOW.

SALVADOR DALI

ME DALI: I’M TALKING ABOUT MYSELF, MADAM.

SALVADOR DALI

I AM BEING ASKED TO PUT FORWARD ONE LAST DALINIAN IDEA ABOUT WHAT WOMEN SHOULD WEAR.

SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN: I ALWAYS WONDER HOW YOU GET YOUR WHISKERS TO POINT IN THE AIR.

SALVADOR DALI

ADOLESCENCE IS THE APPEARANCE OF THE FIRST HAIRS.

SALVADOR DALI

AS I SPEAK, I ANSWER:

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ME DALI: DATES!

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BEAUTY WILL BE EDIBLE OR NOT.

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SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN: WHAT?

SALVADOR DALI

LOVE BEGINS WITH THE HEAD, AND ENDS WITH THREE SMALL DROPS IN THE PEE TUBE.

SALVADOR DALI

A JOURNALIST COMES FROM NEW YORK ON PURPOSE TO ASK ME WHAT I THINK OF LEONARDO’S MONA LISA. I TELL HIM:

SALVADOR DALI

ME DALI: DATES. YES, DATES, PALM FRUITS. FOR DESSERT, I ASK FOR DATES, I EAT THEM AND BEFORE WASHING MY FINGERS IN THE BOWL WHEN I’M DONE, I LIGHTLY RUN THEM OVER MY WHISKERS. THAT’S ENOUGH TO HOLD THEM.

SALVADOR DALI

CRITICAL PARANOID ACTIVITY IS AN ORGANIZING AND PRODUCING FORCE OF OBJECTIVE CHANCE.

SALVADOR DALI

ONE DAY, IN PAINTING CLASS, WE ARE FORCED TO PAINT, ACCORDING TO NATURE, A GOTHIC STATUETTE OF THE VIRGIN MARY. THE TEACHER RECOMMENDS THAT WE DO EXACTLY WHAT EACH OF US “SEES”. AS SOON AS HE TURNED HIS BACK ON A FRENETIC NEED FOR MYSTIFICATION, I BEGAN TO PAINT, INSPIRED BY A CATALOGUE, A BALANCE THAT I DREW WITH THE MOST RIGOROUS ACCURACY. ALL MY CLASSMATES THINK I’VE REALLY GONE CRAZY. AT THE END OF THE WEEK, THE TEACHER COMES TO CORRECT AND COMMENT ON OUR WORK, AND REMAINS FROZEN IN FRONT OF THE IMAGE I OFFER HIM. ALL THE STUDENTS SURROUNDING US IN AN ANXIOUS SILENCE, I DARE TO SAY IN A VOICE A LITTLE EMBARRASSED BY MY SHYNESS: “IT MAY BE THAT YOU SEE A VIRGIN LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, HOWEVER, I SEE A BALANCE”.

SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN: !!!!!!!!!

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I AM A PRACTITIONER, BUT NOT A BELIEVER.

SALVADOR DALI

GREAT ARTISTS ARE ALL HELPLESS.

SALVADOR DALI

ME DALI: ANOTHER ADVANTAGE IS THAT THE SUGAR IN DATES INEVITABLY ATTRACTS ALL FLIES.

SALVADOR DALI

THERE ARE DAYS WHEN I THINK I’M GOING TO DIE OF AN OVERDOSE OF SELF

SALVADOR DALI

THIS BOOK WILL PROVE THAT A GENIUS’ DAILY LIFE, HIS SLEEP, HIS DIGESTION, HIS ECSTASIES, HIS NAILS, HIS COLDS, HIS BLOOD, HIS LIFE AND HIS DEATH ARE ESSENTIALLY DIFFERENT FROM THOSE OF THE REST OF HUMANITY. THIS UNIQUE BOOK IS THEREFORE THE FIRST JOURNAL WRITTEN BY A GENIUS

SALVADOR DALI

SNOBBERY IS ABOUT ALWAYS BEING ABLE TO PLACE YOURSELF IN PLACES WHERE OTHERS DO NOT HAVE ACCESS.

SALVADOR DALI

THE INTRAUTERINE PARADISE IS THE COLOR OF THE FIRE OF HELL: RED, ORANGE, YELLOW AND BLUE. IT IS SOFT, IMMOBILE, WARM, SYMMETRICAL, DOUBLE AND STICKY.

SALVADOR DALI

I CONSIDER MY LIFE TO BE FILLED WITH A DELUSIONAL OPPORTUNITY. EVERY MONTH THAT PASSES, I AM MORE AND MORE SURROUNDED BY AUTHENTIC MADMEN WHO COME TO ME BY CHANCE.

SALVADOR DALI

IN THE WORLD, IN AN INTERMITTENT BUT MONOTONOUS WAY, I MEET VERY ELEGANT WOMEN, THEREFORE MODERATELY PRETTY, WITH ALMOST MONSTROUSLY DEVELOPED COCCYX BONES. FOR SEVERAL YEARS, IN GENERAL, THESE WOMEN HAVE BEEN BURNING WITH THE DESIRE TO KNOW ME IN PERSON.

SALVADOR DALI

THE TWO HAPPIEST THINGS THAT CAN HAPPEN TO A CONTEMPORARY PAINTER ARE: FIRST, BEING SPANISH, AND SECOND, BEING CALLED DALI. THEY BOTH HAPPENED TO ME.

SALVADOR DALI

THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE TWO OF US IS REGULARLY OF THIS ORDER:

SALVADOR DALI

I CONSIDER LOVE TO BE THE ONLY ATTITUDE WORTHY OF A MAN’S LIFE.

SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN: I NATURALLY KNEW YOU BY NAME.

SALVADOR DALI

I PRESUME THAT MY READERS DO NOT REMEMBER / OR VERY VAGUELY/ THIS PERIOD OF THEIR LIVES SO IMPORTANT AND STRANGE THAT ANTECEDA THEIR BIRTH AND WHICH TOOK PLACE IN THE WOMB OF THEIR MOTHER, ME OI GE MEN SUBIEN, AND AS IF THAT WERE MAINTAINED, THIS FOR / THIS REASON THAT I BEGIN MY FREEDOM WITH THE OSUVENIRS OF THIS PERIOD WHICH IS/IS NOT IN DOUBT/ THE FIRST

SALVADOR DALI

ME DALI: ME TOO

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DON’T BE AFRAID TO ACHIEVE PERFECTION, YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED

SALVADOR DALI

COCCYX WOMAN: YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT I HAVEN’T STOPPED LOOKING AT YOU. I FIND YOU FASCINATING.

SALVADOR DALI

I DIDN’T SAY EVERYTHING, AND I TOOK CARE TO KEEP IN STOCK ROTTEN APPLES EXPLOSIVE GRENADES….. IF I AM TOLD THAT MATISSE’S COLOURS ARE COMPLEMENTARY, I WOULD ANSWER THAT INDEED THEY DO NOT STOP DOING OTHER THINGS THAN COMPLIMENTS.

SALVADOR DALI

ME DALI: ME TOO.

SALVADOR DALI

I HAVE ALREADY SAID, WHEN I MET HIM, THAT FREUD’S SKULL LOOKED LIKE A BURGUNDY SNAIL. THE CONSEQUENCE IS OBVIOUS: IF YOU WANT TO EAT YOUR THOUGHT YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT OUT WITH A NEEDLE. THEN IT COMES OUT ALL OF IT.

SALVADOR DALI

DRESS IS ESSENTIAL TO WIN. THERE ARE VERY FEW OCCASIONS IN MY LIFE WHEN I HAVE DEBASED MYSELF IN CIVILIAN CLOTHES. I’M STILL DRESSED IN DALI’S UNIFORM.

SALVADOR DALI

WE ARE ENTERING THE ERA OF GREAT PAINTING. SOMETHING ENDED IN 1954 WITH THE DEATH OF THIS ALGAE PAINTER WHO WAS JUST GOOD AT PROMOTING BOURGEOIS DIGESTION, I MEAN HENRI MATISSE, PAINTER OF THE 1789 REVOLUTION.

SALVADOR DALI

I’VE NEVER WANTED TO EAT IT SO MUCH.

SALVADOR DALI

IT IS DIFFICULT TO ATTRACT THE WORLD’S INTENSE ATTENTION FOR MORE THAN HALF AN HOUR IN A ROW. I HAVE MANAGED TO DO SO FOR TWENTY YEARS, AND EVERY DAY. MY MOTTO WAS THAT WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT DALI EVEN IF WE TALK ABOUT IT WELL.

SALVADOR DALI

HITLER, INTERESTED ME ONLY AS AN OBJECT OF MY DELIRIUM AND BECAUSE IT SEEMED TO ME OF INCOMPARABLE CATASTROPHIC VALUE.

SALVADOR DALI

INTELLIGENCE LEADS TO THE FOG OF NUANCES OF SCEPTICISM, INTELLIGENCE LEADS TO THE GASTRONOMIC COEFFICIENT OF SUPER

SALVADOR DALI

THE JEALOUSY OF OTHER PAINTERS HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE THERMOMETER OF MY SUCCESS.

SALVADOR DALI

MISTAKES ARE ALMOST ALWAYS SACRED. NEVER TRY TO CORRECT THEM.

SALVADOR DALI

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MADMAN AND ME IS THAT I’M NOT MAD.

SALVADOR DALI

DON’T WORRY ABOUT BEING MODERN. IT’S THE ONLY THING THAT UNFORTUNATELY, NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO, YOU CAN’T AVOID BEING.

SALVADOR DALI

IN THE HALL WAS SITTING RENÉ CLAIR, READING THE NEWSPAPER. HE LOOKED UP, HIS EYES CONTINUALLY SKEPTICAL, SURROUNDED, AS WE KNOW, BY THE UNHEALABLE AND CONGENITAL BRUISE OF CARTESIAN COCOON.

SALVADOR DALI

IT IS BETTER TO FART TO KILL TIME, THAN TO MEDIATE, TO MAKE LIBELS OR BAD VERSES.

SALVADOR DALI

I HATE DIRTY FLIES. I ONLY LIKE CLEAN/VERY CLEAN FLIES.

SALVADOR DALI

THE MOST SUCCESSFUL BALLS ARE THE ONES WE TALK ABOUT THE MOST WITHOUT HAVING BEEN THERE.

SALVADOR DALI

THE ONLY THING THE WORLD CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH OF IS EXAGGERATION.

SALVADOR DALI

THE LEAST WE CAN ASK A SCULPTURE TO DO IS NOT TO MOVE.

SALVADOR DALI

IT IS DIFFICULT TO ATTRACT THE WORLD’S INTENSE ATTENTION FOR MORE THAN HALF AN HOUR IN A ROW. I HAVE MANAGED TO DO SO FOR TWENTY YEARS, AND EVERY DAY. MY MOTTO WAS “THAT WE TALK ABOUT DALI EVEN IF WE TALK ABOUT IT WELL”.

SALVADOR DALI